A Near Miss for the Double Bass   Birthdays   Herbert Widdows   OBE   WG Osborne   Weybourne Bombing 1940   Weybourne Pill Box 1939-40 Peter Baldry    Weybourne 2001   Wily at 80

LETTERS AND CONVERSATIONS
MORE FOR THE obe !
obe ? Click here to see the piece below by Maj Bryan Coward!
Omitted from the B&C 95 Dec 00 list of our senior soldiers on p N6 were Charlie Baker of The Band, 87 on 24 Jan 01, Frank Thomas Browne, 81 on 11 Mar 01 and Gen Jack Dye CBE MC DL, 82 on 13 Dec 01.

BIRTHDAYS
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

QUESTION 1
What happens to your body as you age?
Click for the answer.

WILY AT EIGHTY
A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one June day.
The father says to the son: 'I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce. I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go into shock later when I move out.'
He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.
The sister says: 'I'll handle this.'
She calls Florida and says to her father: 'Don't do ANYTHING till we get there! We'll be there Wednesday night.'
The father agrees: 'All right.'
He hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife: 'Okay, they're coming for 4th July. Now, what are we going to tell them for Thanksgiving and Christmas?'

MAJ BRYAN COWARD obe
Also omitted from the list (see above) of what he calls the Rhodesian Order of the Over Bloody Eighties was Maj Bryan Coward, 83 on 17 May 2001.
In B&C 86 Jun 96 was: After service with 2 Suffolk in Lahore as OC B Coy in 1943 (see below) he then managed to get himself transferred back to the Holy Boys!
Also in B&C 86 Jun 96 was:
'Back in Jan/Feb 1940 we were in Weybourne and I had a really idle chap so asked my Platoon Sergeant to find a suitable replacement. I was then Carrier Platoon Commander so when this elderly (to me) 28 year old turned up a few mornings later I said, 'Look here Osborne, this is quite a big job. You'll have to look after yourself, your rifle and ammunition. Then there is the Bren gun and tripod and 2500 rounds of ammunition, all to be kept clean, bright and lightly oiled for inspection at any time. You'll also have to help in the maintenance of the carrier, track tension etc. And apart from all that you will have to look after me. Do you really think you can manage?'
Osborne scratched his head and in that real old Norfolk way said, ' reckon I'll be able to look after you sir. I used to be a horse breaker before the war.'
I took him on like a shot and never had a better chap. I fear Osborne may have gone to Singapore and I've never been able to find out anything of his fate.'
(The Regimental Office card index reveals a 5769804 WG Osborne from 5 Council Houses, Long Lane, Attleborough who might be the one. Assuming he was 18 when enlisting in 1930, he would have been 28 in 1940. His service, though, is indicated as 'all 4th Bn'. Sadly, there is a note that he died in captivity in The Far East in 1944. There is an inscription on the Attleborough War Memorial to a Walter Osborne. If you know what happened to him, write and tell us.  Ed.)

Afternote Jun 02: The Norfolk Editor appealed for information about WG Osborne in the Feb 02 Attleborough and District News.
Pamela Key, the daughter of William, telephoned a few days after it appeared! She lives in Attleborough and told how her father had worked as a mechanic at Dingles Garage before the war. William’s father had been a horse trainer for Lord Albermarle at Quidenham and that would explain William’s 1940 remark to Bryan Coward about horses. He died of tropical diseases one month before the Red Cross parcels arrived.

Bryan's recent letter included 2 new tales; The Bombing of Weybourne in 1940 and A Near Miss for the Double Bass in 1946, below.

THE BOMBING OF WEYBOURNE - 1940
'Members of the 5th Bn will recall the bombing of Weybourne in the Spring of 1940. I was in charge of the Carrier Pl and we had one Bren Gun Carrier which spent most of its time under repair. As all good Norfolk men know (and we feared the Hun might also know!):

'He who would all England win,
Must at Weybourne Norfolk begin.'

Upon us at Weybourne was laid the burden of defending England's shore with one working Bren Gun. We were to hold the position to the last man and the last round. The pub was in the Pl Defensive area and we were all prepared to stay until the last round, so long as we were not paying!
Weston used to come down to the farm at first light, milk the cows and go into the milk separating shed to finish the job. On the morning of the bombing this building was demolished so I was very surprised when Weston arrived. Asking him what had saved him he said: 'I say to my wife, I'll go to hell if I'm going down to that ol' farm yet awhile, so I stay in bed. Then up I got, git on my ol' bike and pedal down to the farm. I'd just started when that ol' bomb went off right close by. You know, I had to hang on to that ol' cow to keep her down!'

And see Pilchards Colonel? from B&C 85 Dec 95.

A NEAR MISS FOR THE DOUBLE BASS - 1946
In Jan 1946 The Bandmaster, Mr Harvey, had asked me if he could buy a double bass for the jazz section of the Regimental Band. We placed an advertisement in the Berlin newspaper and the next morning, queuing in the snow outside an apartment in Neu Westerde stood 47 gentlemen, each with a double bass. Mr Harvey went through the instruments and finally found the ideal double bass. All was well for a few weeks until we returned to Blighty's shore at Harwich where I was surprised to have HM Customs demand payment for the import. I pointed out we were a Royal Regiment, the double bass was Regimental property, had been obtained legally and I was certainly not paying anything out of my own pocket. Informed formally that para x, sub-para y, laid down that duty would have to be paid, I asked Mr Harvey to bring the instrument forward to be demolished and thrown into the harbour. Customs retaliated by stating such an act would be contrary to para 47d.
The officer was asked if he had charged the Germans duty on the illegal import of Doodlebugs. That stopped him for a moment. By this time the double bass had been produced and I was about to demolish it. The Customs Officer asked what we had paid for the instrument. Mr Harvey confirmed the total cost had been 65 Players cigarettes. The Customs Officer declared: 'It can't be any good at that price' and allowed it in, free of duty. It was a first class instrument and I wonder where it is now.

HERBERT WIDDOWS
Maj Bryan Coward’s last army duty was taking the Regimental band to Berlin. He remembers asking Cpl Widdows what made him take up playing the euphonium and being wholly satisfied when it was explained that when he joined the band as a boy, the bandmaster took one look at him and said, 'You're a big boy. We'll put you on the euphonium!'
Bryan asks if Herbert Widdows is the Cpl Widdows who played the euphonium in the Band. 'If so, please give him my complaints!'

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife: 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.'
She replied: 'Yes, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

A lady inserted an advertisement: 'Husband wanted.'
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

MORE ON HUSBANDS
In B&C 86 Jun 96 Maj Bryan Coward, told of joining 2 Suffolk in Lahore as OC B Coy in 1943. On his first day in the company office in a barrack block in the cantonment he heard a conversation between the Coy Clerk and the Coy Runner. 'Ave you seen the CO this morning?'
'No. But I've seen 'er husband.'

THE ANSWER TO QUESTION 1

What happens to your body as you age?

Your bowels also age and you become intercontinental!